Dear Son,

When my alarm sounded early this morning, the gentle sounds of birds overlaying serene piano melody, my thoughts went to you and how different your daily pre-dawn wakeup call must be. “Lights! Lights!” shout the drill instructors running down the squad bay past eighty five beds, banging on metal garbage cans. “Get out of the racks! Get on the line!” Immediately wide awake, you stumble around to put on your socks and you straighten up in attention just in time to count down. From this moment for the next 16 hours you’ll be pushed hard, physically and mentally, all the way seemingly past your limits and abilities. You’ll have to be on high alert all day, not knowing when the next challenge will be thrown at you.

Day after day it’ll be your drill instructor’s one and only job to break you down and to make you believe that as an individual you are useless, and have nothing to offer to the Marine Corps and to your country. You’ll only be of any worth if you become a fully integrated part of a seamless unit, a living, breathing, fighting machine. Time after time you’ll be in the infamous sand pit doing countless pull-ups and push-ups, until the muscles in your entire body tremble and you can’t keep yourself from throwing up. All you’ll be allowed to say is “Yes sir!” No other words will ever leave your mouth.

My heart aches when I think about your pain, and I pray that your spirit will not be broken. Within it your true strength lies. You’ll have to dig very deep to tap into it. At times it will seem like there is nothing left in you. You’ll be at the end of yourself numerous times. You’ll feel like a lone tree bending under strong winds. One might expect it to break and collapse any minute. But the severity of the storm will only make its roots grow stronger. It will not break. It will become more grounded.

Our Christian walk is a lot like boot camp. We arrive with all kinds of baggage from our past life which we lived in the flesh. It will do us no good to hold on to it. We are asked to surrender, to lay down everything near and dear to our heart. And finally we are asked to die to ourselves.  Only then can we truly live. And we’d better hold on for the ride!

I consider myself a strong and resilient person, but despite this, I am acutely aware that my individual strength will eventually fail me. It is just not enough. I need my strength to be rooted and derived from the Lord’s mighty and abundant power. This power is not subject to illness, circumstances, weather conditions, mood, or the way people choose to treat me. This is not the kind of strength which can be replenished with a little extra sleep and a hearty meal. Neither is it something that can be earned. It is free and, like fresh water in a well, it is always there, ready to be drawn on at any time. You have to go and get it, but you don’t have to go far. Then you get to drink and be refreshed, and your stamina restored. It never runs out. Its source is deep. There is no limit to how much you can have. Sometimes we take this strength for granted. Other times we take credit for what it accomplished. But the harder our life circumstances become, the more we realize that we just can’t do without it.

Son, on my life journey, I’ve been to the end of myself and my own resources many times. Finding yourself there can be really scary but this is where God’s mighty power kicks in. When invited, divine strength replaces human weakness. When you find yourself in those impossible situations, and you have nothing left in the tank to keep going, you need to choose to step on the ROCK and stand confidently. In the middle of your weakness, you will be supported by God’s strength to get you through the storm. It’s because the Lord is never too far to catch you when you start falling. He walks with you, so close that you can lean on Him when you feel too weak to go on.

There were times when in my darkest of darkness I called out “Lord! Where are you? I need you now!” But then I realized that He’s never been further than a whisper away. He heard every groan of my weary heart and He saw my tears. The fact that I’m still walking along this path called life is because He’s been holding me up.

The same strength and power is there for you too. It’s okay to admit your weakness and even your fears. But you don’t have to be there alone. You’ll never know the true meaning of victory unless you have tasted defeat. You can’t say you are brave if you haven’t known fear. Likewise, you know nothing about true strength unless you have felt powerless.

It is because of this strength, you will get through the challenge, and you will earn the title of the United States Marine. You will wear the uniform with pride and dignity because you were willing to be broken, and then built up again. Until then, however great the challenge you will face next, remember that the Lord is greater. “He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless” (Is 40:29). When you are weak, He is strong, and you can do everything through Christ, who gives you strength. So the next time you find yourself having to climb a mile high wall, and the word “impossible” starts forming in your mind, think instead:”All things are possible for those who believe!” (Mark 9:23).

Hold on to the words which bring life, words which carry strength, and words which give birth to hope.

Living them out is true power. When you leave your comfort zone and resist the fear of failure, you will make room for the divine. When you tap into the inherent strength which was poured into you by the Almighty God Himself, His power will be manifested in your life.

But remember, son, you can’t give God half of your heart and half of your soul. You can’t surrender only some of your life. When you seek Him, you have to pursue Him with all you have. Put your entire heart into it. Lay down what you can’t keep and you’ll gain what you can’t lose. Live for Him with passion and intensity which burns like a fire. This is the best way to be alive, because “His faithful love endures forever”. (**)

I’m always here for you with my love and support,

MoM (Mother of Marine)

*SEMPER FIDELIS – Latin phrase that means “always faithful”. In the United States it is best known as the motto of the US Marine Corps.

** “His faithful love endures forever” – a phrase I found in the Scriptures 42 times. Hence, “the original Semper Fidelis”.

 

² There was no water for the people to drink at that place, so they rebelled against Moses and Aaron. ³ The people blamed Moses and said, “If only we had died in the Lord’s presence with our brothers! ⁴ Why have you brought the congregation of the Lord’s people into this wilderness to die, along with all our livestock? ⁵ Why did you make us leave Egypt and bring us here to this terrible place? This land has no grain, no figs, no grapes, no pomegranates, and no water to drink!”

⁶ Moses and Aaron turned away from the people and went to the entrance of the Tabernacle, where they fell face down on the ground. Then the glorious presence of the Lord appeared to them, ⁷ and the Lord said to Moses, ⁸ “You and Aaron must take the staff and assemble the entire community. As the people watch, speak to the rock over there, and it will pour out its water. You will provide enough water from the rock to satisfy the whole community and their livestock.”

⁹ So Moses did as he was told. He took the staff from the place where it was kept before the Lord. ¹⁰ Then he and Aaron summoned the people to come and gather at the rock. “Listen, you rebels!” he shouted. “Must we bring you water from this rock?” ¹¹ Then Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out. So the entire community and their livestock drank their fill.

¹² But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!” ¹³ This place was known as the waters of Meribah (which means “arguing”) because there the people of Israel argued with the Lord, and there he demonstrated his holiness among them.

Numbers 20:2-13 (NLT)

How hopeless must the people have felt as they looked around the wilderness of Zion! As far as their eyes could reach they saw nothing but rocks and scorched ground. The hot sun baking their skin reminded them that there was no shade or water anywhere in sight. Their water jugs had been empty for a while. Their children were weak and lethargic from dehydration. There was fear and worry in the eyes of the women as they looked at their husbands searching their faces for hope. Was this harsh desert going to become their grave? Not even trees and vegetation could survive in this dry and rocky plain. How then could two million people with livestock survive? Their doubt and disillusion turned into anger directed toward the men who led them out into the desert where they found themselves trapped and without a viable solution in sight.

It only took one person to speak up. Soon they sat in groups and fueled their anger with each other’s bitter words. There was no stopping the riot. Who could they unload their anger, fear, and bitter disappointment on? Moses and Aaron were the ones who said “come out of Egypt and the Lord will give you the land of milk and honey”.

Milk and honey, you say?! How about dust, unbearable heat, dry mouth and exhaustion! They felt cheated. Didn’t the Lord make a promise to them through Moses? Then it was Moses who had to be blamed for their predicament. Who needed the kind of leader who would take the entire nation, men, women, children and livestock, out in the desert to die of exposure and starvation?

“Why did you make us leave Egypt and bring us here to this terrible place?!” they shouted. “No grain, no figs, no grapes, no pomegranates! And no water to drink! And where is this promise land?!” They couldn’t unleash their rage on God who couldn’t be seen, so they let it out on their leader who could very much be seen.

What was going on in Moses’ head while the angry mob confronted him in this loud and aggressive way? One wrong move on his part, one empty promise could’ve escalated the situation and taken it completely out of control. Did he worry for his safety and the safety of his brother Aaron? Or maybe he was just as lost and confused as the rest of them.

It seemed like yesterday that he had heard the Lord’s voice loud and clear. Still fresh in his memory were the epic signs and wonders the Lord of Israel had performed through Moses’ outstretched staff. The plagues had descended on Egypt bud hadn’t touched the children of Israel. The waters of the Red Sea had parted and allowed this huge number of God’s people to cross safely, but they had swallowed the chariots and the men pursuing them.

Was that just a dream? Did it really happen? Miraculous events like that would surely still be fresh in the memory of every person who witnessed them. But they seemed not to remember. They forgot how God had stepped in and helped them over and over again, even in the most impossible circumstances.

And so they rebelled and spoke words of unbelief again and again. The people had short memory and short fuses. Their patience wore out long before their shoes did. They kept saying, “Is this what we left the comforts of Egypt for?” They forgot the oppression they had suffered from the hands of Pharaoh. They forgot that in Egypt they had not been land owners but slaves whose lives were disposable. They forgot their babies who the soldiers of Pharaoh had drowned in the waters of the Nile. Their selective memory could only recall that there was food in Egypt for them to eat.

So they grumbled. And they whined. They assigned blame and showed contempt toward Moses and Aaron.

What Moses and Aaron did in face of the threat is noteworthy. The Scripture tells us that they “turned away from the people and went to the entrance of the Tabernacle, where they fell face down to the ground”. If it were me, it would have been more tempting to try to defend myself. I would probably have searched my mind for a quick and pointed response to the crowd’s accusations. Moses would have been justified in addressing them harshly and reminding them how Yahweh had stood up for him in the past to assert his chosen position as the leader. But it is not what Moses and Aaron chose to do. They chose to humble themselves before the Lord who they knew as powerful and able to come through for them and the rest of His people, like He had done many times in the past.

We were not told in this passage if any words at all came out their mouths. They chose to convey their hearts’ submission and reliance on the Lord by assuming the prostrate position before Him. They repented for the people’s and their own doubt and unbelief. They did what the others were not willing to do – bring Yahweh the problem they couldn’t solve themselves, along with all the confusion, exhaustion, hurt, thirst and doubt.

God is big enough to handle our doubt. He is secure enough to handle our anger, as long as it is Him who we come venting to. As long as we are humble, honest and transparent.

God’s response to Moses was what it had always been. He gave His provision. He said: I’ve got this one. It’s not up to you to solve this impossible situation. I will do a miracle among you again. You will see something amazing again. I’m here for you, and I always will be. There’s nothing I can’t do on your behalf. I alone will make this happen. Here’s your part. All you need to do is to go get the staff and bring the people together. You are going to tell the rock to give you water. Not a drop of water. Not a streak of water. Enough water to quench the thirst of two million people and their livestock. No biggy. And, by the way, I want you to have this little chat with the rock while the people are watching you.

I chuckle when I wonder what Moses was thinking when he was trying to process the unorthodox instructions the Almighty God had just handed to him. “Okay, Lord, how about door number 2? Maybe, with all due respect, Lord, there is a less ridiculous scenario we could go with”. I bet that the entire time it took Aaron to assemble the community in front of the rock, Moses was struggling with his own doubt and insecurity. Great leaders are not immune to those. “So what will happen, if I talk to the rock, and let’s just say that the rock will act the way rocks do? WHAT IF NOTHING HAPPENS?”

I know this feeling on a very intimate level. I’m just a regular person, who’s had to push through my own doubt and insecurity often in my own faith walk. “What if God doesn’t come through for me, after I throw all my chips on Him? What if my fervent prayers remain unanswered after I publicly take my stance? What if after I have put my trust in my God’s ability to provide for my needs, they will remain unprovided for? What if the Lord remains silent after I have declared that He still speaks to us?”

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a quick peek behind each door before we pick the one to walk through? We are all afraid of looking foolish and being found without answers. People of faith have been forever called narrow- minded bigots and been accused of committing intellectual suicide. Some of us are afraid of public embarrassment more than death itself.

I’ll take a  risk here in saying that I suspect countless believers every day shrink away from expressing their faith because of these little words: WHAT IF…

How many of us have the strength of faith to overcome those two little words which are also the heaviest ones of all dictionaries? They are the entry way to the hidden world of insecurity and pride.

Because of those two little words, we see Moses departing from the exact instructions he received from the Lord. The scenario of speaking to the rock and nothing happening, which he allowed his mind to replay again and again, was just too frightening. Here was the man of God who had struck the water of the Red Sea and the water parted creating a dry path for the people to walk across. But here, faced with the opposition from the same people with the short memory loss, his own memory became somewhat foggy. He couldn’t allow himself to look like a fool when his leadership was already under so much scrutiny. In a single moment, a solution came to him, and he went with it. He would both do what the Lord told him to do – draw the water out of the rock, and save face at the same time, in case no water comes out.

“Listen, you rebels!” he shouted, sudden harshness masking his own shakiness. “Must we bring you water from this rock?” He raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out.

The intended outcome still took place. The entire community and their animals drank their fill. God was faithful, even when Moses was not. In this instance, Moses didn’t trust God to come through. The promise sounded just a little too outlandish to him. You can’t just tell a rock to give you water! Utter nonsense!

Do you see yourself in Moses? I sure do. Countless times I kept silent about my deep convictions and about the hope that keeps me going, for fear of being labeled as one of those “narrow minded” people who need religion as a crutch. Even if the opposite is true.  As much as religion may sometimes be a crutch to some, the true living and thriving faith is neither a crutch, nor is it a place to hide. If your faith has a heartbeat, it will call you out to do things you never thought yourself capable of doing. It will ask you to take big risks and to walk some very treacherous paths. If you and I really trust God to protect us and to provide for us, we will not shrink into self-preservation mode. Instead, we will speak the words we believe are true and we will act on them, even if this is going to make us some formidable enemies.

If we thought, when we first gave our hearts to Christ, that the Christian life would be a walk in the park, we were wrong. I’m sorry. I said it. But there is nothing park-like in having to go against the current all of your life. On my journey, I’ve had many trials by which the sincerity of my faith has been tested. It still is being tested, and I hope that it will prove to be genuine as gold which goes through the refining fire and none of its value is lost in the process. All that falls off in the fire are the impurities.

On your journey you will walk through a desert from time to time. Most of the walk will be up hill, so you will need to train for endurance. The further down the road you go, the more opposition you will face. It’s not always going to be easy or pretty, but there’s nothing you can’t face and get through with the One who made you the promise that you will never be alone. In the end, it will be worth it. You will enter your promise land.

Moses didn’t trust the Lord on that day by the rock, and he lost something precious. But his relationship with God was never in question. The Lord continued to speak to him and trusted him with many more messages, which Moses faithfully conveyed to the people. He was called God’s friend. He and the Lord were tight. They had an honest relationship where communication flew freely. His moment of weakness was not the end of it. It was a lesson that was learned and became a building block for greater progress, as it should be between friends.

None of the Bible heroes were perfect. They all, without exception other than Jesus, made mistakes, committed appalling sins, hurt others, failed to be faithful time and time again. But despite of all this, they were God’s instruments to do some pretty amazing things. Since none of us is perfect, or even worthy, God has perfected the art of using flawed people. How comforting is this!

My application and my prayer today is that the next time I find myself standing by a silent rock, with people’s eyes on me, I will not let the “what-ifs” take away from the glory of God and His desire to work through me. Faith takes courage and it is never afraid to take sides. Self-preservation will only make you lukewarm. Neither hot or cold. Without consequence. Without influence. Without platform.